Friday, October 3, 2014

Release the KRAKEN: 20,000 leagues of controversy

Dear Readers 

My love and curiosity of the grandiose ocean realm began the day I picked up Jules Verne’s classic sublime masterpiece where we follow Professor Pierre Arronax as circumstance lands him in the bowels of the infamous Nautilus. 

Here we encounter the mystifying and frightful wonders of the deep sea and all its inhabitants including the mysterious Captain Nemo as they travel 20,000 leagues under the sea.

Disney poster of 20,000 leagues under the sea

Although that promo was “the bomb” we are here to talk about another equally thrilling enigma that happened to be one of the most memorable characters in the book. The Kraken. 

While there has been much controversy surrounding the existence of these overgrown squids, it does feel like I’m beating a dead cephalopod. I wish to address the naysayers who believe this is to be hogwash.

Hear ye, Hear ye I invite you to depart feudalism and join us in the 21st century (you should also checkout the moon landing article. You’ll be in for a shock).

Hopefully at the end of this article your doubts will be put to rest ……at the bottom of the sea. I swear on Cthullu. 

In the defense of the remaining skeptics, their doubt stems from the following issues 

How can a squid be that gigantic?

In all fairness this is a belief brought upon by numerous faked photographs depicting colossally exaggerated squids, up to 160 feet long.
Giant squid fakes
One huge ass invertebrate (fake)
The actual size of a colossal squid is about ¼ of that size; the largest recorded being 46 ft .So less than a blue whale. This is a result of the phenomenon known as deep-sea gigantism. There’s controversy here too where scientists debate whether this extended growth and lifespan is a result of decreased temperature or hydrostatic pressure. 

Hmmm…… if only there was a way to artificially recreate this process. I know a certain critter dwelling in my pants that could do with an “enhancement”, if you believe what my girlfriend has to say, I personally think she needs better glasses.  

Are those awkward facial expressions I feel upon me?……. moving on then.   


How is it that we haven’t had more sightings?

This is the common argument brought up to disprove many a controversial existence from the likes of big foot and yeti to the existence of ghosts and demons.Seeing is believing. The case however has no ground beneath it as there is more than enough proof in many forms including photographs to live footage to actual carcasses.  

People generally assume that due to globalization we’ve pretty much explored everything to be explored on this planet.

However only 10% of the oceans have been explored leaving an incredible 90% unexplored. 

Doesn’t that just make your hair stand on end?  A whole new world left to be discovered.  
And now I’m thinking of Robin Williams. O’captain! My captain! 

Speaking of Captains, Captain John Bennett had to have a genie wish, Poseidon’s favor or some sort of grace because he landed not one but two giant squid, in less than a decade at that!   
His first is now in display in New Zealand’s National Museum, Te Papa, being the largest un-damaged specimen of a colossal squid. Due to its rarity they weren’t able to do an in-depth autopsy till now.
His second squid was hauled in a frozen block whilst he was on a trek to Antarctica’s Ross Sea. It was a damaged female specimen which was described as having tentacles like fire hoses and eyes as big as dinner plates. What I would give. 

Dr. Kat Bolstad a scientist specializing in squid, naturally shared the same enthusiasm. However we didn’t seem to share the same affinity for words as she described the sight before her as “Very big, very beautiful”. 

Reminds me of the TV show Bold and beautiful. They too had a lot of beautiful ladies who had big…….personalities.

Dr. Bolstad oversaw the research and autopsy of the specimen; the footage of which was streamed online.  

I hope this exhilarates, fascinates and enthralls you.

For even though I endorse extraterrestrial endeavors

The bountiful and beautiful aquatic earth is one we should be fearless and insightful enough
to delve into

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